I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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