the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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