Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
