your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
