I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
