she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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