what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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