hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
