I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
