But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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