Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I touched a dick in church today
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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