nut hugger
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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