And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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