yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
