hell yes lets make some ravioli
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
