Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
