i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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