so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
