Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
