Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
