wat bout pragnant strippers??
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
