tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
