Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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