butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
