Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
