so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
