How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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