My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
