i don't like sucking hair
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
