I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
