Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she woke up with a sticky ear
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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