Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
