i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
