At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
