i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
