dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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