I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
