Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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