Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
