i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize