would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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