my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
