Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
