i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
