I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
