you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
