You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
