11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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