The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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