so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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