I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
