i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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