You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
false alarm, still single
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
