You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
be right there i have to get my cape
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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